I just dawned on me, that I actually did almost have you. But then again, just almost, because in reality, I never really did, did I?
From the moment you walked into my life that night, with those beautiful hazy bright eyes and that smile, you had me. I never wanted anything more in my life than I wanted you. You clouded my mind in ways that no amount of wine or cigarettes ever could.

You had me. Even when you confessed that you run from everything in life and that real commitment to anything scares you.
You really did have me. With the way you listened and talked to me. With the way you kissed me and held me so tenderly. With the way you held me so close as you lay beside me in the night. With the way your grip on my waist would tighten ever so slightly, as if you were afraid I’d run from you. You had me. You had all of me.
I’d never run from you. But ironically, you did what you do best. You ran.
I hoped that your words of “I’ll see you someday, somewhere” were words of a promise, however far out that promise sounds. But these twelve months later, with no word from you, I don’t really let myself hope anymore.
Getting into that taxi, that morning, a year ago, broke my heart. I’d fallen so hard for you and everything you were, - and probably still are. I still fall for you, when I think of you, and that will probably never change, will it?

You’re a memory now. At times, a fond memory of a good time filled with happiness and ease. At other times, I’m on the verge of tears when I think of you.
Because, I almost had you. You’ll always be that one chapter I’ll never get to know the ending of. You’ll always be that “what if” for me. But, I never really had your heart, did I?

I almost had you, but just almost, because in reality, I never really did.